Thai Express Lane at Suvarnabhumi

If Taipei was chill, our arrival at Suvarnabhumi Airport in Bangkok was exponential chill!

First the context:

MAD were really tired. Now when I'm tired, MAD just help me go to sleep and, then, I'm cool. For MAD, it is not so simple. They can't just sleep. They need to take care of me.

And, when they got off the flight from Taipei, their tiredness really hit them.

At first, things were fine. My stroller arrived express style (infant travel privileges, and all that). Boom! There it was at the gate just minutes after we got inside the terminal.

The problem was, that some airline "do-gooder" had figured out how to fold the thing correctly, something that Dad had never thought needed to be done. Having never really learned to fold it, he now had no idea how to get the thing unfolded. He began what seemed like an endless search for an overly clever latch to pull or button to push so that this amazingly folded travel stroller would open.

Then, I realized I was sick of airports. I mean, I wanted to see Thailand. I didn't want to wait for Dad to get my stroller ready. I started to cry like crazy.

Things started to unravel quickly and there were a few tense moments: Some eye rolling and gasps of frustration almost ensued. Then, finally, Dad found the clever latch. Not exactly "bam," but the thing did finally open.

OK, that was close. I fell asleep in the stroller as we headed toward customs, and things were good.

But, just as the family was getting its composure back, a sea of people unfolded in front of us. I mean every tourist on the planet had landed in Bangkok with us. The place looked like the fall of Saigon. (How would I know that reference, you ask? Don't be so literal!)

So Mom was about to start tearing herself. I mean, who could blame her? She was about to spend two hours in line at customs with me. I mean, I'm adorable. But there's a limit to everyone's charm.

But, then, the really cool thing happened. And, this is the exponentially chill part:

See Mom's Thai. She hadn't realized it when her eyes were about to tear at the site of a potential two hour wait amongst a flood of flip-flops and Hawaiian shirts, but she doesn't have to wait with the tourists at customs in Bangkok.

This nice man in a uniform saw me and saw Mom looking overwhelmed. He confirmed that she was Thai and said with a nice smile, "come with me." (At least that's what I assume he said. I mean, I don't speak Thai yet. I don't speak anything yet!)

A gigantic smile and expression of relief appeared on Mom's face. That was really cool. It made me happy.

The man even let Dad come with us. Now, Dad's not Thai, but I guess he also got to use the Thai express lane on account of Mom and me.

Welcome to the family, Dad!

We were through customs in no time, and out of the airport like zap. Uncle Paulie met us out front. And, bam, I got to take my first ride through Bangkok traffic.

Where is Benjamin, you ask? Not stuck in some stuffy, cramp-my-style car seat. That's for sure. I'm riding free in the Land of Smiles!

Smiles in Taipei Transit Terminal

Taipei was super chill. I got to have my first play date. All the other infants from the flight gathered with their parents just inside the door to the terminal.

We infants have it good. See, others have to worry about what things they want in transit. They put those things in bags they haul on board with them. We infants can’t carry things on board. Actually, I can’t carry anything at all. But the airline just specially unloads all my transit necessities, and meets me with them at the gate. It’s very chill. I mean: Boom, there’s my stroller.

When good things like this happen for me, it also makes me happy. I smile.

This was good for Mom and Dad (MAD, for short), too. I mean I had been really whaling hard, crying up a storm. I had been REMing very comfortably, thank you. Then this flight attendant who had earlier been talking about how cute I am just went and lifted up the window shade. She said something about safety and landing. But it was bright as heck, and the light went directly in my eyes.

Anyway, I’d been waiting to return a bellow to the other infants I’d heard on board. The temporarily painful light in my eyes presented good justification. So I just belted it out. I mean there might be bigger babies out there (no pun here), but I can make myself heard when I want. Then Mom stuck a bottle in my mouth. Said something about helping my ears, too. I think the crying was doing the trick, anyway. But, what the heck, I don’t mind snacking.

So about the play date: MAD are kind of funny. They always talk about the same thing. They love talking about how tired they are. It’s not really a complaint, though. It is kind of bragging, like displaying a badge of honor or something. A right a passage. Other favorite subjects include my poop, my weight, and what I do with my eyes.

One of the cool things about the play date in the Taipei terminal was that I discovered that all the other MADs talk about the same things. I guess all MADs are, well, crazy. Ha!

The MADs in Asia also like talking about education. “Oh, how cute,” they’d start. Barf. Are you going to teach him to speak Chinese? I mean, guys, I’m just a baby. Let me enjoy crying and pooping for a while. And, then, when Mom explained that we were heading on to Bangkok . . “Oh, wow,” they’d continue. “That’s a long trip. Are you going to teach him Thai?”

It’s not that long a trip, I thought to myself. Of course, I didn’t say anything. I figure I’ll learn to talk for a while before I try sarcasm.

So the play date was fun. There was this other baby about one year old, meaning he’s been around about four times as long as me, who’d already started walking. Supposedly, he’d never crawled. He was no steady walker, though. Watching him from my stroller was like watching good slapstick comedy. I don’t mean to be a “Monday-morning quarterback” or to snicker from the sidelines, but it was really funny. His parents had to hover around him to make sure he didn’t crash into anything and to catch him if he tripped.

for me, now? I’m planning to crawl and, after crawling for a bit, walk.

Besides the play date, the thing I really liked about Taipei was how much attention I got. As MAD strolled me through the airport, every lady in the place flashed a smile at me. It was great! They really like kids over here. Mom was pushing me on my stroller through a duty free cosmetic store, and a really beautiful sales woman walked clear around her and Dad to get a look at me and flash me a gigantic smile. “Oh, a baby,” they’d say. I love babies. Does he speak Chinese?” Lady, I don’t speak anything, yet, but thanks for the smile :)

When good things like all this smiling happen to me, I get pretty happy. It makes me want to smile more.

One funny thing was how Dad kept trying to get a bit of credit from the smiling ladies. I’d do the same thing, I guess, but I think he wanted recognition for being my Dad. I mean Dad’s a good guy and he’s pretty perceptive, I think. But it’s not like his association with me was lost on anyone: That was the whole impetus for asking whether I was going to learn Chinese or Thai. They wouldn’t be asking that, Dad, if you weren’t a foreigner.

Anyway, the Taipei airport was cool I’d love to get back there when I start eating so I can try the Shanghai dumplings that Dad walked a mile through the airport to get.

To Thailand

Benjamin boarded an Eva Airways flight to Bangkok via Taipei about midnight on November 20 to attend his uncle's wedding and visit with his Thai relatives.

He'd been through the standard tight security at SFO with little fuss. Thankfully, his name has not hit the security watch list. He had no shoes that needed removing, nor any laptop to take out of his bag. He just dumped his stroller on the conveyor belt, and cruised through without any alarming beeps. Like so many of his needs, the stroller magically reappeared just when he wanted it.

Ben is an important guy, so they called his name for boarding early: "Passengers with infants may now begin boarding." Infant(s)? That's me, thought Ben! With his parents, the passangers, he sauntered on board.

He kicked back in his mom's arms until the "fasten seat belt" sign was removed. He might have thought at that time of heading to the the lavatory they had mentioned over the PA system. Many of the other passangers rushed to cram into this room, but Ben saw no purpose in this. Again, like so many of his needs, things resolved themselves. A makeshift lavatory appeared out of thin air. Boom! Compliments of his aunts who had gifted it for Dad's birthday, Ben's diaper bag opened. Out came the diapers, towelettes, etc. Just like when I poop at home, he thought!

All cleaned up, Ben settled into his personal infant bed. This was, relatively, far more spacious than any other seat on the plane. In fact, it was easily as spacious as his bed at home. And, though not without a modest hit to his parent's bank account, was far less expensive than any other seat on the plane.

Good things happen to happy people. Ben's a pretty happy guy. So I guess he generally counts on good things happening for him.

Ben mainly slept the flight away. Nestled in his luxurious and spacious infant bed, he awoke only for meals. He didn't even really awake for that magical lavatory (the aunt's diaper bag gift) to do its trick of cleaning him up from time-to-time.

Nope, while most of the passengers worked with their special collection of personal comforts - iPods, neck pillows, stacks of magazines -- to pass the time, Ben just put one of his over sized hands on his belly and the other up to his chin in his classic contemplative pose. He slept.

At meal time, many of the passengers had specially prepared meals -- low sodium, vegetarian, etc -- that they had pre-ordered. Ben had not pre-ordered anything. But without amazement, he awoke also to find a specially prepared meal. And though this special meal of his came in no standard air-cuisine package, the flight attendants happily offered to heat it up for him.

Good things happen to happy people. Ben's a happy guy. He pretty much finds that good things happen for him, I guess.

Landing in Taipei was easy. Many of the other passengers pulled out their personal bag of tricks to deal with the ear problems that often accompany landings -- blowing into plugged noses, drinking hot water, extra swallowing, and chewing on gum. Ben just snacked on one of those specially prepared meals.

His ears were fine.

He happily arrived in Taipei to immediately find some very likable things about Asia.